As I was dozing off Sunday afternoon I had a vision – I could see a beautiful, vast, wild landscape, could have been grassy duneland or open common. In the far distance the sea. This was totally linked to having a new print of Georgia O’Keefe’s ‘Pink Moon over Water’ on my wall this week! But in my vision there was no pink moon and stretching through the middle of the natural landscape was a huge, long bridge, like the Golden Gate bridge. I was looking at this and knew, without really thinking about it that I’d built this metaphorical bridge throughout my lifetime and had used it primarily for safety.
As I looked at this scene, the ground began to shift slowly and the bridge began to wobble. Noticing in my body that my heart centre was collapsing and my breath was gasping, I stayed focused on the visual as slowly the entire bridge fell and was swallowed by the ground. I was crying softly and the landscape returned to a natural stillness. My body too became quiet and I slept.
I have become accustomed to ‘seeing’ my inner mental and emotional states through these waking visions, or sometimes in dreams. I used to get very nosey about the images and thought that the image was the thing I needed to understand. What’s the story? What’s the message? What’s the meaning? Now I realise that the image is only a mirror of what is actually happening in my body, so I bring my attention back to my body and whatever emotion is shifting, moves more easily with my gentle awareness. I no longer get myself stuck in making a meaning of it all.
You see, we are not separate aspects – our minds and imaginations are intrinsically connected to our bodies and our emotions. So it’s completely natural that when we are changing or growing or making new decisions that this will be reflected on all levels of our being. If we tune in then we might receive some extra information to steady us as things shift. Last week I decided that I am going to move away from paid employment and into self-employed work (again). This means also moving away from academia and towards my work as a coach for health and wellbeing. Perhaps I have always been walking across a bridge from one to the other…and somewhere in the middle, from age 18 at university to 40, when the pandemic changed the way I worked, I was an artist. Even that, I’m not sure about anymore…
Last year I was planning to do a new creative project exploring people’s lived experience of chronic pain. A number of my female friends live with this and I found it difficult to relate from my body – what would that experience feel like? Then somewhere along the line I came across some training for coaches and therapists called OldPain2Go. It is a very simple but very effective process to support people to turn off old pain signals in the body. Having had my first few clients for this process last week and seeing the immediate impact, I know this is a path I want to take. So instead of exploring and thinking about old pain and fatigue through my arts practice, I have the skills to support others to heal this. It’s moving away from work in artistic representation to working in direct transformation. I am no longer looking at the landscape below me from a bridge – I am in it.
When I woke after the vision, I came round slowly. My soft, warm belly flesh nestled into the warm body beside me. I was gently holding onto an arm, like a brand new baby. I was safe. When I eventually opened my eyes, I felt lighter, I felt more light in my eyes, I felt joy spread across my chest. I was smiling. I am smiling now. Everything has changed. I see a new world through these new eyes.
**If you live with enduring pain or fatigue and no longer want this, please get in touch to discuss how OldPain2Go could work for you**
Tracy is a NLP coach with Break Free & Thrive – the fundamental principle of Neuro Linguistic Programming is that reality does not exist ‘out there’ but it is created internally through a series of subjective processes, which can be called filters. How and what we perceive outside/inside is shaped into meaning by our conditioned thinking patterns (and trauma), so we distort, delete and generalise our experiences to make them fit with our internal representation of the world. In NLP we use language, both verbal and non-verbal, to understand and communicate how someone is creating their inner reality, or map, so that they can have the power to change their reality. Book a coaching session with Tracy here.
Image: ‘Pink Moon over Water’ (1924) – Georgia O’Keefe
Photo Credit: caesura (2013) – Jess Rose